{adjusts reporter glasses}
so, Game Night, was, for the most part, fun~

when it started, it was just me, Jessica, and her boyfriend Connor. somethings happened between them that I'd rather not discuss.

but after that was settled, things were fun~
Andy and Cody showed up pretty late.

We attempted to settle the Woodwinds/Brass thing, but we forgot about it. xD
Andy is still unbeatable at Soul Calibur. e - e

then we started to play Rockband~
I have a blister from my ring. D:
we learned that Cody has no sense of rhythm and that it is possible to have three people play the drums at once.
I was playing a song and it was difficult for me, then my friend Connor grabbed one drumstick and told me to take the red, yellow, and foot pedal. xD
eventually, I moved over to the blue and green, Connor had the red and yellow, and Cody had the foot pedal. xD

we were playing More Than A Feeling by Boston and Jessica noticed that Cody was singing along. when he was the last person there, Jessica and I started to try and get him to sing for us. he wouldn't do it. D<
we started playing another song, and you could just barely hear him singing along. he doesn't sound that bad.
BUT THE BASTARD WOULDN'T SING. D<
we told him that if we called him up one day and said our puppy died, he had to sing for us. xD

anyways. Cody left a little after that. then he sent a text to Jessica saying more shit that made us worried. we tried to talk to him about it, but he brushed it off. we're having Andy talk to him about it, since he won't say anything to us. :/

Jessica and I stayed up most of the night just talking. we slept until one-ish, and just sat around talking more.
my dad picked me up at two-ish?
the rest of the weekend has been boring. D:

we were going to try and go to the carnival this weekend, but I can't go. Jessica and Cody might've gone today, I don't know. That boy needs to get out of his house some, so I don't mind. he seems really depressed when he's not with us.
we're going to try next weekend though, so I can go with everyone.
I'm pretty sure that'll be fun~

and that's all~

hello!
I'm not sure if you can tell, but I did something a little different with my hair.
it's back in a clip.
the front part looks all curly because of the rain today.
. _____ .
it's been cold and rainy all day, so.

but, despite the weather, today was quite nice~
Partied in the band hall this morning, as usual. xD
then today in Health class, we didn't really have anything to do, so me and Cody just messed around for awhile.
there was this one moment where he was just staring off into space, so I started waving my hand in front of his face and you could tell he was holding back a smile.
So I was like "YOU'RE GONNA SMILE. YOU'RE GONNA SMILE. OH, THERE YOU GO. AHAHA YOU SMILED. 8D"
I told him it was impossible to not smile around me. that was my job. he just laughed.
then he started doing the same to me, but instead crossed his eyes. xD

and he thought he had ninja skills, so he went to hit my in my arm. but I moved and he hit the chair instead. xD

it was fun, really. just the two of us messing around.
I was smiling about it through algebra.
(´◡`)ノ❤

but now I have to go get ready!
Game Night tonight!
WOODWINDS VS. BRASS.
YEAHHH.
>DD

this is a Kandi Bracelet my friend Jessica made me. xD

she's calling the ones she makes for band "Bandi Kandi". xD

isn't it awesome though? xDD

oh, I have pictures from Halloween uploaded now!

( under here!☆ )

oh, something hilarious that happened yesterday.
I added a piece of flair on facebook that said "every trumpet wishes they were cool enough to play flute" and it attacked Cody's ego. xD
so me, Jessica and him had a thirty minute argument about how woodwinds are better than brass.
we're going to settle it tomorrow over Tekken. xDD

maybe I'll copy+paste the whole thing next post.
xD

I didn't get to see him today, because I was sick, but I would've thought he would continue on about it today. Jessica said he didn't though.
BUT OH, TOMORROW NIGHT, WOODWINDS WILL HAVE THEIR DAY.
>DD

oh by the way, I updated my dA~
GO, GO, GO!!
\ O /

and now I go to raid the kitchen!
(`A´)ノ

so, alice nine.'s new live DD was posted on Youtube~

they played a couple of older songs, like Gin no Tsuki, Kuroi Hoshi and Corona.
It was really interesting to hear those played live~

I noticed that most of the songs I really liked were older, like from before VANDALIZE.
I think it's because they're just more used to those songs~

It was nice to see the newer songs performed too!
when they performed Subaru, it was amazing~

the beautiful name wasn't all I thought it would but, but it was still good~

There was a "secret live" DVD that the same person uploaded.
they performed a new version of Kiss twice, Kiss me deadly, which was hella sexy.
8D

they performed White Prayer too, which I really liked~

all in all, I loved the DVD~
The encore was probably my favorite part~

YOU SHOULD GO WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN'T!
8DD

let's see what's happened lately...

I talked to Cody the other day about what he meant by "I don't know". He just said he was "indiffferent about the subject." :/

I think it's better to just not bring it up anymore. It would make things awkward. I'm still worried about him though. After he said something around the lines of "Sleep. The only place where I'm some-what content with life." I IM'd him and asked him if he was ok. He just said he wasn't feeling 100% lately. I told him that if he ever wanted to talk about it, that he could talk about it to me.

we've become better friends I think. We have hour long conversations now, so that's good. I showed him the Ran Ran Ru video and he laughed his ass off. xD
we kept hitting him with pillows the day I showed him and it made it worse. xD:

let's see, what else is there...

Oh, since we don't have any games to go to anymore, my friends and I have decided to start Game Nights on Friday. This week was the first week and it was awesome. xD
We played a bunch of demo games all night. I spent the night at Jessica's, then we called Andy and Cody over the next day because we were bored again. xD

At Jessica's house on Saturday, her dad was watching a college football game and we were freaking out about the bands. xD
everytime we saw them, we'd be like "OMG SOUSAPHONE. THERE'S A CLARINET. DO YOU SEE THEIR UNIFORMS? OMGOMGOMG."
XDD

we're awesome. :B

and today, I went to see 2012 with Andy and Rebecca. Cody and Jessica were supposed to come, but they weren't able to. D:

It was a pretty good movie~
really intense too.

bwah.
it's pretty late now.
I should go to bed~

just thought i would update, since I haven't in awhile.

{oh and if this looks weird, LJ is acting funky.}

 So, yesterday was judgment day.
the big day.
importanttttt~!

I told Cody.

I showed up in the morning and after a quick chat with Jessica, I decided to do it when he showed up. 
When he did, I spazzed, grabbed Jessica, who threatened to punch me in the teeth if I chickened out.
So, she went and pulled him aside for me. 
and I told him.

I think I might've had a mild heart attack as well?

It didn't go bad, but it didn't go good either.
He didn't flat out tell me he doesn't like me.
he just said something around the lines of "I don't know right now".
He promised things wouldn't be awkward between us though. And they're not.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful.
Everyone in band got called down towards the end of second period.
They told us that the game was planned for that night and that we may or may not be able to get busses and a truck to get us there. Therefore, it wasn't mandatory. But, we did get three busses and one truck, so it was able to happen. While we were waiting in the bandhall, I was talking about what happened that morning and my friend Andy asked about it. When I told him about me liking Cody and hoping things wouldn't be awkward, he said "He's not going to care. He likes someone else right now anyways." It's Emily of course. Andy said Cody is obsessed with her. :/ 

Since it was our last game, we were allowed to do the band dance. The drumline played the cadence for like, ten minutes. THAT DANCE HURTS AFTER AWHILE. then we had people in the stands that weren't in band doing it with us. IT WAS AMAZING~
Jessica and I headbanged to whatever drum cadences we could. My neck is sore now, but it was fun. Cody wasn't there, he had something else to do. 

The game got called off early, because the football teams kept getting into fist fights on the field. Everyone was pissed. :/ 

When we got on the bus, my friend Connor was shaking really bad. He started breathing weird too. I thought he was going to have to go to the emergency room too. But, he was treated and was able to get off the bus on his own at the school. He gave his jacket to Jessica, so he was cold all night.

then onto today~
Andy had his birthday party today. It was so much fun~
He has a pool in his backyard and it was freezing.
So what do Cody, Andy and Jessica do? They jump in.
we were told to bring swimsuits because of the jacuzzi, but it wasn't working. 
They were all like "OMG IT'S FREEZING. HOLY SHITTTTTT. DD:"
they're going to be sick. xD

we just kind of sat around the rest of the time, watching stuff on Youtube, playing Andy's trombone and trumpet.
I showed everyone Ran Ran Ru and Cody laughed for like, ten minutes. We were like "WTF, STOP LAUGHING IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY."
We beat him with a pillow everytime he started to laugh.

It was pretty fun, until like, the end.
We were all kind of tired and just lounging around. Emily was there and she was laying on the bed and Cody started using her as a pillow.
I felt kind of crappy of course. Connor had already left, Jessica had fallen asleep and Andy was over by Emily and Cody, so I was just left sitting by the computer. it was definitely the low point of the party for me. Cody is acting like nothing happened yesterday, which is kind of a good thing, because it's not awkward, and kind of a bad thing because it's making me wonder if he thought about it at all or just completely threw it out of his head. :/ 

but right now, I'm very tired. I'm going to go to bed now~
goodnight~!

I'm sure that if you've been watching the news at all today, you've heard what's happened here.
and if you haven't, to fill you in, there was a shooting on base today.

12 dead, 31 wounded.
At first, it was reported that the shooter was killed, but information as of now says that he is alive and in custody.

This afternoon was completely nerve racking.

I got home, totally normal. I was waiting to get a ride with my neighbor back to school at four for the game, since we had early release today. My dad then called, telling us to "lie low and stay inside and that there was an incident and he would explain when he got home". I didn't know what was going on, so my initial reaction was to lock the doors. Then I got on Facebook and saw that someone had posted there was a shooting. At that time, the game wasn't canceled yet, so I began setting up things to notify my parents of where i was at, telling my sister where to go once I was gone, etc.
Then my neighbor called and said that the game was canceled. So, I spent the rest of the night watching the news for updates and trying to get ahold of friends that live on post.

Everyone's alright though. Thank god.

It's so weird that this could happen here. I felt so safe when I lived on base. and the guy that did it wasn't even a civilian. He was a military psychiatrist.

I'm already predicting the backlash from this is going to involve the Muslim community, since he was a Muslim, gun regulations, since they were his guns apparently, and the reaction time of the base, since it apparently took them awhile to go into full lockdown.
It was really weird seeing familiar landscapes on national news. . ____ .

everything is going to run as normal tomorrow. people are going to be paranoid for a long time though.

and since we didn't have the game, I haven't told Cody yet. Tomorrow though will be the day.

I hope everyone's doing alright tonight. 

 For his birthday, Cody is inviting friends to go paintballing with him on Sunday.

it should be interesting.
. ___ .

he says it's going to be in the morning.
i dun wanna wake up in the morning.
D:

I just hope things aren't too awkward between us after Thursday.
D:

 so, I went to Jessica's party after all~

She sent me an IM yesterday and she had pneumonia and bronchitis. She said she was feeling well enough to have people over. So, it was me, my friend Andy, Cody, my friend Connor, my sort of friend Quintin, and Jessica's friend Donisha at the party. It was really fun~
She had a bounce house. 8D
I have her my hat hair clip, which she named Winston. She was like "OMG REALLY? YOU'RE GIVING ME WINSTON? ; 3 ;"
He's our good luck charm. She's going to wear him all the time now. C:

I learned that when the Filipinos throw a party, THEY DO NOT MESS AROUND. They had like, a whole pig and crab legs there. I was like "WTF DOOD."
we went trick-or-treating. It was fun~
my costume was really lame. I just wore some new jeans, a tee shirt, and a mask. I did my makeup though. /quite proud
I have pictures. I'll post them later.
Jessica almost had everyone spend the night. But Andy, Connor, and Quintin couldn't stay. Cody wasn't going to stay if Connor couldn't, so he left too. 
I don't even have to ask for hugs in return from him anymore. 8D

and i'm going to do the most nerve racking thing this week.
I'm going to tell Cody.
I'm think of telling him before I leave after the game this week. I don't know how it'll go. but it feels like the time. 

I don't think he likes Jessica, because he was pushing her and my friend Connor as a couple last night. which I think they actually are one now? they're cute together~ :D

anyways. I spent the night at Jessica's. We slept late today, then went to the mall. Since Jessica got over FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS for her birthday, she didn't mind buying me Viva La Vida. 8D
It's a pretty good CD~

anyways.
Marching season is almost over.
:{
then it's concert season. I JUST STARTED WEARING MY UNIFORM TOO! 
The bibbers feel so right. ; ^ ;

and that's all for now~
goodnight~

 I did have a party to go to today, but I have this feeling it's going to be canceled. I'll explain why later on in the post~

Now, onto the events of yesterday~
Everyone in band ate lunch at the same time. I sat next to Cody at the table and we messed around with Jessica's fluffy hat. He kept making dog ears out of the flaps on it. xDD

Then we went down to the band hall. I don't really remember what happened. We got on the bus after that.  WE HAD CHARTER BUSSES, OMG~
I wasn't sitting next to Cody at first, but then I switched places with the chick sitting next to him. BUT THAT DIDN'T STAY THAT WAY FOR LONG. DD<
Norris{head director} came on the bus and told us that apparently the bus we were on was supposed to be the bus the cheerleaders got on.
THEY'RE SMALL, THEY COULD FIT UNDERNEATH. D<
So the entire bus, which was PACKED, had to get off and find another bus to fit on. Cody got on a different bus in the confusion. DDD:
THREE HOUR TRIP WHERE I COULDN'T USE HIM AS A PILLLOW. FUUUUUUUUUUUU.

The ride was pretty fun. we watched Transformers 2. There was lots of yelling. xD
Then we arrived and went to CiCI's Pizza. 8DDD
My friend Connor spent like, forty dollars trying to get a watch out of a machine. xDD
Then we left to go to the school there.

Our performance was meh, so so. We didn't do any marching, because we weren't prepared for it. We were generally just confused. D;

Then this is the worst part of the night.
We were on the track watching the other band and my friend Jessica started hyperventilating. She had been saying all day that she didn't feel too good. So, I took her over to Trahan. They called the paramedics over and they had to use an oxygen mask on her. She had a fever of 104. Last I knew, she was being taken to the emergency room and her mom was coming up to get her. I cried my eyes out once they brought the stretcher out for her. They think she had the flu. and it's her party that was supposed to be today. D:

but in brighter news, Cody isn't just receiving hugs from me anymore. 
first on Thursday after practice, I gave him a hug and I was like "WTF? give a hug back. D:" and he was like "FINE. D:" 
then, yesterday morning, I forgot my jacket so I was cold and my friend Andy was like "cody, give her a hug." and he did. twice.
and then last night, I was so messed up over what happened to Jessica so he gave me half of one, then said "let me put my stuff down so I can give you a real hug" then he hugged me after that.

/obsessive. . ____________ .

and his ex-girlfriend added me on Facebook and it says on her profile that she's single, so they are not going out.
good news~
so, things have been good and bad.

I'm worried about Jessica still though. DD:

and I feel kind of sick. 
. ___ .

 I can't figure out if Cody can stand me or not.
I sent him an IM over Facebook and he said "just has I have to go to bed. tireddddddddd."
:/ 

he still hasn't responded to the message I sent him.

he's still really attached to Emily. I feel kind of shitty.
I don't have luck in these kinds of things.
until I notice that he's not really clinging to Emily anymore, I think I give up.
I'll sit next to him on the bus and talk to him, but my hopes for getting him to "like" me are gone for awhile.

I really quit.
I'll become better friends with him but I won't try for anything more.

 today it's very cold and wetttttt.
D:

it's 54°F right now. o - o

time for some coffee?
\8D/

due to the cold and rain, we had band practice inside today. 
that gave us the chance to start learning the Thriller dance~
I'm incredibly white so I can't dance.
xDD
I can do the very beginning though!
it's just the part where you're walking like a zombie.
xDD

It was fun though.

oh, and here's the second song we're playing!

It's awesomeee!
8D

anyways.
Cody's been more friendly lately.
I'm a little mad at myself for saying that I give up.
i dunno. I guess I just had a mental breakdown.

it'll get better though.

and on Friday, we have to leave school early to get to our game on Friday. it's like a three hour drive to get where we're going. We're going to eat lunch as a group then get ready to leave right after that. I get to sit with Cody on the ride~

sooo~
that's all for now~

 well, Friday was a blast.
We lost our homecoming game, but whatever.

We had so much fun in the band hall after school~
That's my favorite place now. Everything is so much fun in there~

yesterday, I went to Rebecca's party.
I met some of her friends and saw some old friends. my friends Marvel and Carter have changed a lot.

Rebecca spent the night at my house. I tried to go see a movie with Jessica and some other friends today, but there was a lot of miscommunication and I missed it. D:

and now I'm just generally feeling like shit.
Saturday was the homecoming dance. I didn't go, no one asked me and Rebecca's party was more important.
But Cody asked his ex to go with him. 
I saw a picture of them on facebook. I hate how they look so good as a couple. And according to my friend Jessica, he was acting like they still were a couple. 

and now I'm just thinking about how I'm always just the friend. Never anything more.
it's typical. Why does this still bother me? It's been like this forever. 
Cody's just making it worse I guess.
I never had a problem up until now.

he's obviously not over Emily. He wanted to ask her out for a year after all. 

there's no point in me even trying anymore. 
I'm the friend and that's all.

goodnight.

 I got my band uniform todayyy~

my bibber is a little tight in the chest area, but otherwise it's fine. xDD

I look so snazzy in mah uniformm~
8D

I get to wear it tomorrow for the game too!

all we're doing is playing Bella's Lullaby.
lameeeeeeee.
:{

It's the homecoming game, so we don't really have a show to do. 

buttt~
We did start learning the sets for our Halloween show today at practice!
{it was freezing, btw.}
It's going to be really cold tomorrow night too.
D:

not much else happened today.
I just took some time to hit the drums, since I've been neglecting to do that lately.
D;
it felt good to beat something.
xDD

and that's all for now!

 So, Cody isn't ignoring me.
He was joking apparently.

That's just how he is, I guess.

but I'm really happy~

anyways.
today, we had some lame pep rally thing after school.
we played three songs. . - .

it was fun when we were waiting to go though~

We were running around and jumping on people's backs.
My friend Ryan{or Stork} like, attacked Cody.
who is much shorter than him. 
He feel to the ground and then my friend Monica v-bagged him. xDDDDDD
I LITERALLY ROFL'D.
XDDDD
I jumped on Cody's back too and then he like, threw me off to the floor.
we were joking about how he'd be watching his back forever and be doing like, spins while marching.

I walked up to the gas station with a couple friends and got stuck in the rain.
. _______ .

but it was fun~
well, not the pep rally, but still. xDD

and that's all now~

 so I had Jessica ask Cody what his general opinion was about me.
all he said was "she's just a friend.".

and today, he's been ignoring me.
I said hi to him in the band hall and he said "leave, I don't know you." or something around those lines. 
Then I said bye to him in the hall way and he looked unhappy and shook his head.
He hasn't replied to my Facebook message yet, despite being on last night.

Is he doing this so people don't think we're going out?
if he is, he doesn't have to be a douche about it.
:/ 

god, maybe this is why I don't bother with these kinds of things?

I'm still worried about him though, even if he is being a douche.

 I found out more people think Cody and I are going out.
. ___ .

I also found out that he and his girlfriend were "never really going out".
I'm not complaining.
But I am worried about him. He's been saying some things lately that's been hinting towards him having some problems.
I feel bad for him. I'm trying to figure out how I can help. I guess the most I can do is just be there.

bah.
I have homework to do.
:{

 so, UIL contest was today.

the band performed so beautifully.
Things went so smoothly. The trombone solo was flawless. there were minor incidents, but still, nothing huge.
I cried. I really did. It was that beautiful. I was so happy for them. Cody flashed this amazing smile at the end of the first movement. I really wish he could've seen it. 

but.
here's the shitty part.
Just so you know, a 1 is the best possible score you can be given.
Most of the other bands that day got ones.
even the band that had someone fall twice.
But what did we get?
With our amazing performance and epic trombone solo?
A FUCKING TWO.
BULL SHIT.

God.
Everyone felt horrible.
Which is stupid, because it wasn't their fault. They did so amazing. Like I said, I cried. They deserved so much more than a two. 
but like Mr. Norris said, "You can't change the past, only the future." 

We can't dwell on that two that we were unjustly given. We have to just be ready to get a one next year.
Which, with the people we have, will happen.

so anyways. time to tell the day's events~
Showed up early. Watched everyone practice. boring. we went back in the band hall after doing a ceremony for the seniors. We lit candles and the seniors just said something to us all.
The two senior flutes wanted our section to eat together for awhile. 
All the upperclassmen were telling stories about how people acted when they started and about sets from the years before. our section leader made us sugar cookies. C:
I really felt like things would get better. It won't suck next year, I know it.

awhile after that, we got on the busses to leave.
We had to stop for awhile because one of the busses had a flat.
D;
I fell asleep on Cody again. (=//w//=)
Then we arrived, I gave Cody a good luck hug, then they did their amazing performance. Someone asked if Cody and I were going out because we're always with each other and I was using him as a pillow. (.///w//.)
After helping put things up, Jessica and I found Cody, then gave him a congratulatory glomp. 
The ride back was funny. My friend Connor stole Jessica's frappuccino, so every time he said "coffee", she'd assault him. xDD
I wasn't tired enough to fall asleep again.

We got back to the band hall, and the director did their little speech. He's really proud of us. Or of them. whichever. I'm trying to think of myself as part of the band. It'll be better though. We're starting our Halloween show next week probably and EVERYONE is going to be in it. 
I'll feel right then. I will.

after we were dismissed, we hung around for awhile. Cody was sliding down the hallway in his socks. His trumpet case flew open once and it was hilarious. xDDD
then we had plans to go out to eat~
Cody wasn't able to go.
Jessica and Connor were the only people besides myself. We went to Cracker Barrel.

and now, I'm home~
I'm kind of tired, but not really.

but all that matters is that I'm really feeling better about things.
Both band and Cody. 

and that's all~

 so we had another football game tonight.
we actually won a second game!

things started off so-so.
just the normal "mehhhhh. Cody won't like me everrrr." and "DAMMIT, WHY THE HELL CAN'T I MARCH?"

but things got better as the night went on~
I shouted a lot. xD
I'm eating a couple cough drops before bed.

then we got on the bus to go home.
I fell asleep and used Cody as a pillow.
(>///w///<)

I woke up and my friend Connor was like "OHHH~ YOU'RE DATINGGG~"
.////.

we have UIL contest tomorrow and it's a long drive there~
I'm going to sit with Cody again.
god.
this crush is hitting me hard huh?

OH.
Jessica found this empty notebook and she and I are making it THE BAND BOOK~
We're putting things like band nicknames in there, things that happen on the band bus, memorable quotes, etc.~
it should be awesome~

and that's all for now~

 

hmm, that's interesting~
(●≍△≍●)

well, today was pretty normal~

I can't wait until tomorrow though~
And Saturday.
We get to eat after contest too, which means the entire band will be at the same restaurant.
FUN DOOD.
8D

and that's all~