FO Banner by uebo14

Due to the amount of personal subjects in my journal lately, I have decided to make it friends only.
Please comment to be added and add why you'd like to be my friend.

I have a longer entry to post when I get home, but I just feel like talking about something right now.

Yesterday in health, we had to help with the fitness gram again. Once again, Cody and I were working the BMI station and were right next to each other. There was this moment where we each had someone on our scales and both happened to look up at each other at the same time.

He just smiled, then I smiled. It was wonderful. So simple, but amazing. This was a smile that reminded me of when he smiled during the UIL performance.

I thought about it last night and rolled the moment through my head. I've never had an easier time falling asleep. And I slept good~

I felt so happy last night, I almost cried. Something so simple made me feel like flying~

He's been treating me differently lately. It might not mean anything more than we've become better friends, but I don't feel as hopeless as I did before.

and that's all I wanted to say~

Today was so-so.

{tries to remember that in French}
comme ci, comme ca, something like that.
accents there and shit.

anyways.

This morning, I showed up to school pretty early. I gave Cody the letter before I headed off to first period. When I saw him again in Band, I asked him if he read it and he said he did. He didn't discuss it at all after that.

I asked Jessica about it and she suggested that I just wait a day or two before trying to talk to him about it.
He acted like he normally does, so he's hiding whatever that letter meant to him well.

anyways.

We had a substitute in English class today.
HE SOUNDED LIKE BATMAN.
LOLOLOLOL.
At the end of the class period, Monica ran up to him and said "SAY "WHERE'S RACHEL?"" XDDDD
He didn't do it. :{

let's see, what else..

oh, we started the chair tests today. The only section that was able to go was the clarinets.
JESSICA DID WONDERFULLLL~
and so did Monica. C:

I have to go tomorrow.
DDDD:
I'm pretty nervous, even though it's just two scales I have to play. I /should/ be playing them both in two octaves, but I'm like "FUCK THAT. DD:"

Jessica informed me of what she's going to get me for Christmas.
A PIKACHU KIGURUMI.
8DDDDDDDDD
i'mma be so cozy and wrapped in adorableness~

Monica is also going to get me a necklace~
She said it's going to be a silver key. It sounds pretty~

I feel bad because I won't be able to get anyone anything.
(´A`)ノ

they're telling me not to worry about it, but I'm still going to feel bad. :{

and I think that's pretty much all for now~
it's a cold night, so I'm ready to go wrap up in my blankets~
goodnight! ☆

Friday was so magical~!
I was greeted in the morning by Ryan only, since Cody and Andy hadn't shown up yet.
Yes, there was school.

But, there was snow!
It was just flurries at lunch, but it was great.
Everyone was just eating, then they noticed the flurries out in the courtyard. Everyone just like, jumped up and ran out side.
It was great~
I felt like a little kid~

The rest of the day went fairly well. But Jessica told me something that Cody said that just added on to all the worry. I've written him a letter that I'm going to give him tomorrow. This cycle of him saying things, us asking about it, then him denying it can't continue. Jessica and I are afraid something horrible may happen..

But anyways.

Game Night didn't happen, sadly. :{
Jessica had other things to do and Cody was camping all weekend anyways. But this week, we shall have Game Night~! >D

Yesterday, I went over to Rebecca's house to hang out with her and Jordan. It was fun~
Then we decided to go see a movie. We wanted to see Paranormal Activity, but it wasn't playing, so we saw Ninja Assassin instead.
OMG. IT WAS EPIC. 8DDD
Rain may not have that great of music, but god, he's hella sexy. xDDD
and aside from the sexy through out the movie, the action was great. Lots and lots of blood. (@ _ @)
After the movie, we walked up to Jack in the Box, where just little hilarious things happened. xD
It was good to see them again. Then I spent the night at Rebecca's house, which was just boring.

and today, I'm pretty sure nothing's going to happen.

and that's all~

It's been extremely cold lately!

We retreated to the band hall this morning because of the cold.
(´。△。`)

There's talk of snow on Friday!

but right now, I think I hear thunder.
(・　◠・)


anyways, away from the weather~

Hug A Musician Day was amazing~
I turned the corner to where we all hang out in the morning and BAM! Jessica ran at me. then BAM! Cody ran at me. Then BAM! Andy ran at me. Then BAM! Ryan/Stork ran at me. It was one band geek after another. xDD

It was great~

I've been extremely happy lately.
Cody and I are pretty good friends now.
we joke around in Health class all the time and this morning, he gave me a hug first. Which rarely happens.
Around him, it's just impossible for me to not smile~
❤

And I've been thinking more and I've come to the conclusion that music is the main cause for a majority of the happiness in my life right now.
If I hadn't joined band, I wouldn't know the people at school that I'm really close to. I'd be alone, most likely, or at least not with people I can really /laugh/ with.
And I've really re-gained my love for the flute. I like playing now. {Which reminds me, there's chair testing tomorrow, oh god. D:}
I love playing now, actually.
Everyday, I can't wait for band.
and then there's the music I listen to, the bands that have always made me happy~

So, in short, I've been doing much better than I have been lately.
And I blame it on the music~♪

Good night~

just looking at the jackets and such.

AND THEY HAVE A BLACK RIDER'S JACKET.
OMG.
TOO MANY RIBBONS THOUGH.
FUUUUUUU.

it's so beautiful though.
; 3 ;


let's see..
anything else?

OH.
TOMORROW IS HUG A MUSICIAN DAY.
MUCH HUGGING IN THE BAND HALL~
\8D/

other than that, not much happened today.
There is now a joke that Cody is pregnant.
I was walking to health class with him and one of the other trumpet players comes up and he's like "Dude, did you get fatter or is it that jacket?" and then he was like "ARE YOU PREGNANT? IS IT A BOY?" that's when I put my hand on his stomach and yelled "I CAN FEEL IT MOVING."
pretty funny. xD

OH.
JESSICA JOINED LJ~
8DDDDD

and i'm extremely sleepy.
that's all for today.

so here is the epic 51 comment post sparked by a piece of flair that said "Every trumpet wishes they were cool enough to play flute".
( fucking hilarious. )

Happy Thanksgiving~!
(・◡・)y

Hope you're full of delicious food~
I am. xD

the last couple days have been good.
We took a chair test last week.
I am now eighth chair.
Very disappointing, but we're going to have another test before the Christmas concert, so I have a chance to redeem myself!
(`A´)ノ

I've been getting on Poupee Girl more often. it's kind of addicting now. xD

I was talking to my dad about how I wanted a punk jacket and he said that if I design it, he can get one made for me when he goes to Korea. \8D/

so right now, all I'm really doing is watching stuff about the REAL vampires on the Chiller Channel.
Dracula, John Carpenter's Vampires, you know, the kind that don't sparkle?
Pretty awesome.

and before I close, I have one thing to post~





I took this picture today~
I downloaded this purikura photoshop set to edit it with~
I like it. 8D

{adjusts reporter glasses}
so, Game Night, was, for the most part, fun~

when it started, it was just me, Jessica, and her boyfriend Connor. somethings happened between them that I'd rather not discuss.

but after that was settled, things were fun~
Andy and Cody showed up pretty late.

We attempted to settle the Woodwinds/Brass thing, but we forgot about it. xD
Andy is still unbeatable at Soul Calibur. e - e

then we started to play Rockband~
I have a blister from my ring. D:
we learned that Cody has no sense of rhythm and that it is possible to have three people play the drums at once.
I was playing a song and it was difficult for me, then my friend Connor grabbed one drumstick and told me to take the red, yellow, and foot pedal. xD
eventually, I moved over to the blue and green, Connor had the red and yellow, and Cody had the foot pedal. xD

we were playing More Than A Feeling by Boston and Jessica noticed that Cody was singing along. when he was the last person there, Jessica and I started to try and get him to sing for us. he wouldn't do it. D<
we started playing another song, and you could just barely hear him singing along. he doesn't sound that bad.
BUT THE BASTARD WOULDN'T SING. D<
we told him that if we called him up one day and said our puppy died, he had to sing for us. xD

anyways. Cody left a little after that. then he sent a text to Jessica saying more shit that made us worried. we tried to talk to him about it, but he brushed it off. we're having Andy talk to him about it, since he won't say anything to us. :/

Jessica and I stayed up most of the night just talking. we slept until one-ish, and just sat around talking more.
my dad picked me up at two-ish?
the rest of the weekend has been boring. D:

we were going to try and go to the carnival this weekend, but I can't go. Jessica and Cody might've gone today, I don't know. That boy needs to get out of his house some, so I don't mind. he seems really depressed when he's not with us.
we're going to try next weekend though, so I can go with everyone.
I'm pretty sure that'll be fun~

and that's all~

hello!
I'm not sure if you can tell, but I did something a little different with my hair.
it's back in a clip.
the front part looks all curly because of the rain today.
. _____ .
it's been cold and rainy all day, so.

but, despite the weather, today was quite nice~
Partied in the band hall this morning, as usual. xD
then today in Health class, we didn't really have anything to do, so me and Cody just messed around for awhile.
there was this one moment where he was just staring off into space, so I started waving my hand in front of his face and you could tell he was holding back a smile.
So I was like "YOU'RE GONNA SMILE. YOU'RE GONNA SMILE. OH, THERE YOU GO. AHAHA YOU SMILED. 8D"
I told him it was impossible to not smile around me. that was my job. he just laughed.
then he started doing the same to me, but instead crossed his eyes. xD

and he thought he had ninja skills, so he went to hit my in my arm. but I moved and he hit the chair instead. xD

it was fun, really. just the two of us messing around.
I was smiling about it through algebra.
(´◡`)ノ❤

but now I have to go get ready!
Game Night tonight!
WOODWINDS VS. BRASS.
YEAHHH.
>DD

this is a Kandi Bracelet my friend Jessica made me. xD

she's calling the ones she makes for band "Bandi Kandi". xD

isn't it awesome though? xDD

oh, I have pictures from Halloween uploaded now!

( under here!☆ )

oh, something hilarious that happened yesterday.
I added a piece of flair on facebook that said "every trumpet wishes they were cool enough to play flute" and it attacked Cody's ego. xD
so me, Jessica and him had a thirty minute argument about how woodwinds are better than brass.
we're going to settle it tomorrow over Tekken. xDD

maybe I'll copy+paste the whole thing next post.
xD

I didn't get to see him today, because I was sick, but I would've thought he would continue on about it today. Jessica said he didn't though.
BUT OH, TOMORROW NIGHT, WOODWINDS WILL HAVE THEIR DAY.
>DD

oh by the way, I updated my dA~
GO, GO, GO!!
\ O /

and now I go to raid the kitchen!
(`A´)ノ

so, alice nine.'s new live DD was posted on Youtube~

they played a couple of older songs, like Gin no Tsuki, Kuroi Hoshi and Corona.
It was really interesting to hear those played live~

I noticed that most of the songs I really liked were older, like from before VANDALIZE.
I think it's because they're just more used to those songs~

It was nice to see the newer songs performed too!
when they performed Subaru, it was amazing~

the beautiful name wasn't all I thought it would but, but it was still good~

There was a "secret live" DVD that the same person uploaded.
they performed a new version of Kiss twice, Kiss me deadly, which was hella sexy.
8D

they performed White Prayer too, which I really liked~

all in all, I loved the DVD~
The encore was probably my favorite part~

YOU SHOULD GO WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN'T!
8DD

let's see what's happened lately...

I talked to Cody the other day about what he meant by "I don't know". He just said he was "indiffferent about the subject." :/

I think it's better to just not bring it up anymore. It would make things awkward. I'm still worried about him though. After he said something around the lines of "Sleep. The only place where I'm some-what content with life." I IM'd him and asked him if he was ok. He just said he wasn't feeling 100% lately. I told him that if he ever wanted to talk about it, that he could talk about it to me.

we've become better friends I think. We have hour long conversations now, so that's good. I showed him the Ran Ran Ru video and he laughed his ass off. xD
we kept hitting him with pillows the day I showed him and it made it worse. xD:

let's see, what else is there...

Oh, since we don't have any games to go to anymore, my friends and I have decided to start Game Nights on Friday. This week was the first week and it was awesome. xD
We played a bunch of demo games all night. I spent the night at Jessica's, then we called Andy and Cody over the next day because we were bored again. xD

At Jessica's house on Saturday, her dad was watching a college football game and we were freaking out about the bands. xD
everytime we saw them, we'd be like "OMG SOUSAPHONE. THERE'S A CLARINET. DO YOU SEE THEIR UNIFORMS? OMGOMGOMG."
XDD

we're awesome. :B

and today, I went to see 2012 with Andy and Rebecca. Cody and Jessica were supposed to come, but they weren't able to. D:

It was a pretty good movie~
really intense too.

bwah.
it's pretty late now.
I should go to bed~

just thought i would update, since I haven't in awhile.

{oh and if this looks weird, LJ is acting funky.}

 So, yesterday was judgment day.
the big day.
importanttttt~!

I told Cody.

I showed up in the morning and after a quick chat with Jessica, I decided to do it when he showed up. 
When he did, I spazzed, grabbed Jessica, who threatened to punch me in the teeth if I chickened out.
So, she went and pulled him aside for me. 
and I told him.

I think I might've had a mild heart attack as well?

It didn't go bad, but it didn't go good either.
He didn't flat out tell me he doesn't like me.
he just said something around the lines of "I don't know right now".
He promised things wouldn't be awkward between us though. And they're not.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful.
Everyone in band got called down towards the end of second period.
They told us that the game was planned for that night and that we may or may not be able to get busses and a truck to get us there. Therefore, it wasn't mandatory. But, we did get three busses and one truck, so it was able to happen. While we were waiting in the bandhall, I was talking about what happened that morning and my friend Andy asked about it. When I told him about me liking Cody and hoping things wouldn't be awkward, he said "He's not going to care. He likes someone else right now anyways." It's Emily of course. Andy said Cody is obsessed with her. :/ 

Since it was our last game, we were allowed to do the band dance. The drumline played the cadence for like, ten minutes. THAT DANCE HURTS AFTER AWHILE. then we had people in the stands that weren't in band doing it with us. IT WAS AMAZING~
Jessica and I headbanged to whatever drum cadences we could. My neck is sore now, but it was fun. Cody wasn't there, he had something else to do. 

The game got called off early, because the football teams kept getting into fist fights on the field. Everyone was pissed. :/ 

When we got on the bus, my friend Connor was shaking really bad. He started breathing weird too. I thought he was going to have to go to the emergency room too. But, he was treated and was able to get off the bus on his own at the school. He gave his jacket to Jessica, so he was cold all night.

then onto today~
Andy had his birthday party today. It was so much fun~
He has a pool in his backyard and it was freezing.
So what do Cody, Andy and Jessica do? They jump in.
we were told to bring swimsuits because of the jacuzzi, but it wasn't working. 
They were all like "OMG IT'S FREEZING. HOLY SHITTTTTT. DD:"
they're going to be sick. xD

we just kind of sat around the rest of the time, watching stuff on Youtube, playing Andy's trombone and trumpet.
I showed everyone Ran Ran Ru and Cody laughed for like, ten minutes. We were like "WTF, STOP LAUGHING IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY."
We beat him with a pillow everytime he started to laugh.

It was pretty fun, until like, the end.
We were all kind of tired and just lounging around. Emily was there and she was laying on the bed and Cody started using her as a pillow.
I felt kind of crappy of course. Connor had already left, Jessica had fallen asleep and Andy was over by Emily and Cody, so I was just left sitting by the computer. it was definitely the low point of the party for me. Cody is acting like nothing happened yesterday, which is kind of a good thing, because it's not awkward, and kind of a bad thing because it's making me wonder if he thought about it at all or just completely threw it out of his head. :/ 

but right now, I'm very tired. I'm going to go to bed now~
goodnight~!

I'm sure that if you've been watching the news at all today, you've heard what's happened here.
and if you haven't, to fill you in, there was a shooting on base today.

12 dead, 31 wounded.
At first, it was reported that the shooter was killed, but information as of now says that he is alive and in custody.

This afternoon was completely nerve racking.

I got home, totally normal. I was waiting to get a ride with my neighbor back to school at four for the game, since we had early release today. My dad then called, telling us to "lie low and stay inside and that there was an incident and he would explain when he got home". I didn't know what was going on, so my initial reaction was to lock the doors. Then I got on Facebook and saw that someone had posted there was a shooting. At that time, the game wasn't canceled yet, so I began setting up things to notify my parents of where i was at, telling my sister where to go once I was gone, etc.
Then my neighbor called and said that the game was canceled. So, I spent the rest of the night watching the news for updates and trying to get ahold of friends that live on post.

Everyone's alright though. Thank god.

It's so weird that this could happen here. I felt so safe when I lived on base. and the guy that did it wasn't even a civilian. He was a military psychiatrist.

I'm already predicting the backlash from this is going to involve the Muslim community, since he was a Muslim, gun regulations, since they were his guns apparently, and the reaction time of the base, since it apparently took them awhile to go into full lockdown.
It was really weird seeing familiar landscapes on national news. . ____ .

everything is going to run as normal tomorrow. people are going to be paranoid for a long time though.

and since we didn't have the game, I haven't told Cody yet. Tomorrow though will be the day.

I hope everyone's doing alright tonight. 

 For his birthday, Cody is inviting friends to go paintballing with him on Sunday.

it should be interesting.
. ___ .

he says it's going to be in the morning.
i dun wanna wake up in the morning.
D:

I just hope things aren't too awkward between us after Thursday.
D:

 so, I went to Jessica's party after all~

She sent me an IM yesterday and she had pneumonia and bronchitis. She said she was feeling well enough to have people over. So, it was me, my friend Andy, Cody, my friend Connor, my sort of friend Quintin, and Jessica's friend Donisha at the party. It was really fun~
She had a bounce house. 8D
I have her my hat hair clip, which she named Winston. She was like "OMG REALLY? YOU'RE GIVING ME WINSTON? ; 3 ;"
He's our good luck charm. She's going to wear him all the time now. C:

I learned that when the Filipinos throw a party, THEY DO NOT MESS AROUND. They had like, a whole pig and crab legs there. I was like "WTF DOOD."
we went trick-or-treating. It was fun~
my costume was really lame. I just wore some new jeans, a tee shirt, and a mask. I did my makeup though. /quite proud
I have pictures. I'll post them later.
Jessica almost had everyone spend the night. But Andy, Connor, and Quintin couldn't stay. Cody wasn't going to stay if Connor couldn't, so he left too. 
I don't even have to ask for hugs in return from him anymore. 8D

and i'm going to do the most nerve racking thing this week.
I'm going to tell Cody.
I'm think of telling him before I leave after the game this week. I don't know how it'll go. but it feels like the time. 

I don't think he likes Jessica, because he was pushing her and my friend Connor as a couple last night. which I think they actually are one now? they're cute together~ :D

anyways. I spent the night at Jessica's. We slept late today, then went to the mall. Since Jessica got over FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS for her birthday, she didn't mind buying me Viva La Vida. 8D
It's a pretty good CD~

anyways.
Marching season is almost over.
:{
then it's concert season. I JUST STARTED WEARING MY UNIFORM TOO! 
The bibbers feel so right. ; ^ ;

and that's all for now~
goodnight~

 I did have a party to go to today, but I have this feeling it's going to be canceled. I'll explain why later on in the post~

Now, onto the events of yesterday~
Everyone in band ate lunch at the same time. I sat next to Cody at the table and we messed around with Jessica's fluffy hat. He kept making dog ears out of the flaps on it. xDD

Then we went down to the band hall. I don't really remember what happened. We got on the bus after that.  WE HAD CHARTER BUSSES, OMG~
I wasn't sitting next to Cody at first, but then I switched places with the chick sitting next to him. BUT THAT DIDN'T STAY THAT WAY FOR LONG. DD<
Norris{head director} came on the bus and told us that apparently the bus we were on was supposed to be the bus the cheerleaders got on.
THEY'RE SMALL, THEY COULD FIT UNDERNEATH. D<
So the entire bus, which was PACKED, had to get off and find another bus to fit on. Cody got on a different bus in the confusion. DDD:
THREE HOUR TRIP WHERE I COULDN'T USE HIM AS A PILLLOW. FUUUUUUUUUUUU.

The ride was pretty fun. we watched Transformers 2. There was lots of yelling. xD
Then we arrived and went to CiCI's Pizza. 8DDD
My friend Connor spent like, forty dollars trying to get a watch out of a machine. xDD
Then we left to go to the school there.

Our performance was meh, so so. We didn't do any marching, because we weren't prepared for it. We were generally just confused. D;

Then this is the worst part of the night.
We were on the track watching the other band and my friend Jessica started hyperventilating. She had been saying all day that she didn't feel too good. So, I took her over to Trahan. They called the paramedics over and they had to use an oxygen mask on her. She had a fever of 104. Last I knew, she was being taken to the emergency room and her mom was coming up to get her. I cried my eyes out once they brought the stretcher out for her. They think she had the flu. and it's her party that was supposed to be today. D:

but in brighter news, Cody isn't just receiving hugs from me anymore. 
first on Thursday after practice, I gave him a hug and I was like "WTF? give a hug back. D:" and he was like "FINE. D:" 
then, yesterday morning, I forgot my jacket so I was cold and my friend Andy was like "cody, give her a hug." and he did. twice.
and then last night, I was so messed up over what happened to Jessica so he gave me half of one, then said "let me put my stuff down so I can give you a real hug" then he hugged me after that.

/obsessive. . ____________ .

and his ex-girlfriend added me on Facebook and it says on her profile that she's single, so they are not going out.
good news~
so, things have been good and bad.

I'm worried about Jessica still though. DD:

and I feel kind of sick. 
. ___ .

 I can't figure out if Cody can stand me or not.
I sent him an IM over Facebook and he said "just has I have to go to bed. tireddddddddd."
:/ 

he still hasn't responded to the message I sent him.

he's still really attached to Emily. I feel kind of shitty.
I don't have luck in these kinds of things.
until I notice that he's not really clinging to Emily anymore, I think I give up.
I'll sit next to him on the bus and talk to him, but my hopes for getting him to "like" me are gone for awhile.

I really quit.
I'll become better friends with him but I won't try for anything more.

 today it's very cold and wetttttt.
D:

it's 54°F right now. o - o

time for some coffee?
\8D/

due to the cold and rain, we had band practice inside today. 
that gave us the chance to start learning the Thriller dance~
I'm incredibly white so I can't dance.
xDD
I can do the very beginning though!
it's just the part where you're walking like a zombie.
xDD

It was fun though.

oh, and here's the second song we're playing!

It's awesomeee!
8D

anyways.
Cody's been more friendly lately.
I'm a little mad at myself for saying that I give up.
i dunno. I guess I just had a mental breakdown.

it'll get better though.

and on Friday, we have to leave school early to get to our game on Friday. it's like a three hour drive to get where we're going. We're going to eat lunch as a group then get ready to leave right after that. I get to sit with Cody on the ride~

sooo~
that's all for now~